The Friendly Face of Time

Oh our relationship with time.

It IS a relationship, and a dysfunctional one for most, unfortunately.

In a recent mentoring call I was working with a client around her relationship with time, more specifically, the enmity she felt towards it.

Time steals, time takes. There’s not enough time. Time is scarce. 

It’s a common thing, where most of us make an enemy of time.

Often, the relationship is adversarial at best and abusive at worst. We berate time, hate it, glance at it sidewise and act as though it’s plotting to steal from us bit by bit until it possesses the entirety of us in death.

Like we are its victim, and it an evil lord.

That’s one relationship to have with time, for sure, but there’s another, gentler, kinder, co-creative viewpoint to be had. It could just as easily read…

Time supports my interests and creates space for my loves. ​I have the time to paint, to draw, to swim to work to love to create to laugh to play to dance to live. 

Who talks like that? Not so many people.

We all have a certain—limited—amount of time to be alive in these particular bodies. That’s a fact, but how we dance with time during the years we have is a gift.

Time becomes a provider of opportunity rather than a thief.

Shifting your relationship with time from being that of an enemy to being friends, companions, co-conspirators, means you cease to be in a war with yourself.

Let me ask you this, would you speak of your most tender relationships the way you speak of time?

Would you dismiss them, would you disrespect them?

Because every action is an action to and for (or against) yourself.

Let’s take a quick look at the concept of being ‘on time’.

I used to never be early, never. I would either be exactly on time or 10 minutes late (this is something I still work on but my mindset around it is different).

I used to view being early as wasting time. If I had 5-10 minutes where there was nothing to do, no-one to meet, and I could’ve done that one last thing I didn’t do before I left in order to be early.

Today, I view that 5-10 minutes as a gift—and not one to fill with mindless scrolling, but precious minutes I get to spend with myself, my thoughts, music, a moment to connect, observe or simply be.

If you’re always late or you’re always rushing, you have little respect for time, which translates into having little respect for yourself.

So instead of rushing to avoid being late, don’t do that one last thing you think you could do before you leave.

It’s better to be early than to be late – for your heart, for the people, for your peace of mind.

Because if you’re rushing, if you’re resentful, if you’re inpatient with what’s happening right now, what you’re really doing is stealing life from yourself and neglecting the gift that’s given to  you every day for who knows how many. 

Give time your love, respect and adoration.

Thank it for providing a continuum to exist.

Make it your friend, it’s one of the most important relationships you can cultivate.